Tea with Linda - RESILIENCE

Tea with Linda - RESILIENCE

Linda Kavelin Popov, Co-Founder of TVP, January 2024.

The virtue of resilience is crucial now. Our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing depend upon it. Amid constant crises, chaos and uncertainty, we simply cannot climb out of stress to feeling blessed without it. Resilience is at the very heart of Recognizing Teachable Moments. Christian monk Tolbert McCarroll, quoted in The Family Virtues Guide, says:

“Virtue is the muscle tone that develops from daily and hourly training of a spiritual warrior.” Beginning a new year brings the opportunity for a fresh start. One of the best ways to do that is to reflect on the past year to mine the lessons learned. Only then will we be prepared for a new year of acting more consciously, and strengthening our resilience to transform what needs to change for a wonderful year ahead. I had a profound teachable moment in the past year when stress sent my blood pressure into the danger zone. I had become enmeshed with a young client and felt like a failure because nothing I did seemed to make a difference in motivating her to change her destructive patterns. I was getting sucked into the codependent triangle of Rescuer, Victim, and Perpetrator. In order to bounce back from this stressful situation, I had to call on honesty to admit that I had become helpless over this pattern of over-responsibility. I called on prayerfulness to resolve the situation and spent time meditating and reflecting on this pattern that started when I was four years old. Resilience helped me to remember that I was not a victim, but an athlete faced with a major challenge. Humility – such an inherent part of recognizing teachable moments – helped me to admit my limitations and assertiveness supported me to set clear boundaries. I now work with a team to help this person move into a safer and more positive living situation, I no longer accept personal (and constant) texts from her, and am savoring the resilience and new peace I feel. I learned so much about myself from this, including the importance of leaning into detachment by stepping back from judgment on myself, instead accepting accountability. I was able to move into openness and acceptance to redefine my role and am now working in a healthier way for both of us. As Tony Robbins said, “Every setback is a set up for a comeback.”

So, looking back at the past year, what was your most important learning? How would you like to move forward in this new year, nurtured by resilience, responding to the virtues that call to you, seeking joy and a purpose that fits this season of your life? What is your dream now?