Tea with Linda - LOVE
Tea with Linda - LOVE
Contributor: Linda Kavelin Popov, Co-Founder of TVP, Feb 2024.
Love - the magnetic, unifying force of the universe, the essence of the Creator. Love binds the atoms together. It is at the core of what it means to be human. If love is the cause of our very existence, the source of our being, it means that each of us is a precious part of Divine/Universal intention. How we treat a person must be grounded in love.
Shame must have no purchase, whatever our story, our trauma, our circumstances may be. I remember Jason, a young first nation man of sixteen, escorted from prison many miles to a virtues-based healing retreat with me in the Yukon. At the start of the three-day retreat, Jason’s hat was pulled over his eyes, and he seemed to sleep through everything, but he was listening. On the second day, after several men did their healing work and were honored by the others for their virtues, the hat went back, his eyes were open, and he began to give virtues acknowledgments to each man who had shared his story. On the third day, he was the last one to share. He shook and his tears (and ours) flowed, as he told of the abuses in his life and shaming names he had been called – “savage,” “redskin,” “half-breed,” “useless.” When he had emptied his cup, I invited him to stand, look each person in the eye, saying loud and clear, “I’m proud to be an Indian!” over and over. At first, it was a whisper, then louder, until he was shouting it. Then, each one of us in the circle honored him for his virtues - his courage and trust to open up and share, his endurance to live through the pain, his strength. His father, who had struggled with addiction for years, also a participant in the retreat, went up, and put his arms around him, saying, “Son, please forgive me. I was never there for you, but I am now.” As we all wiped away our tears, Jason began to jump up and down with joy. He created a plan to make amends as best he could for the violent crime he had committed. I later learned he had talked excitedly all the way back to jail. He now had the beginning of a dream to live a different life, one based on restorative justice, one honoring his own worth.
No matter what has happened in our past, it is never too late to transform our narrative with the practice of virtues. Loving ourselves allows us to love others more authentically and deeply because we have replaced the harsh inner critic with a kind parent who understands that life is full of teachable moments. To love ourselves and others truly, we must sacrifice judgment for rigorous accountability, humility without humiliation, and above all love for the precious soul we truly are.