Tea with Linda - Generosity
Tea with Linda - Generosity
Contributor: Linda Kavelin Popov, Co-Founder of TVP, June 2025
Generosity is admired as a noble virtue—one that enriches the giver as much as the receiver. As Shakespeare said of Mercy, it is twice blessed. But not all generosity flows from the same source. Pure generosity is whole-hearted, sometimes sacrificial, usually joyful. Then there is generosity muddled by guilt, a sense of obligation, a need for approval, or especially with family, an avoidance of conflict. Discernment is a balancing virtue that can bring clarity about giving with a pure intent, not merely as a transaction in disguise.
In its essence, generosity is an expression of the soul’s abundance. It’s our ability to express kindness without expectation, to share without resentment, and to give fully without losing oneself. When guided by discernment, generosity is uplifting, nourishing, and genuinely helpful. It’s empowering rather than enabling. It doesn’t foster entitlement by indulging a child’s every wish, for example. It reflects an inner knowing that there is enough. Sharing your energy, your presence and your time when companioning someone is one of the purest acts of generosity. Just having the sacred curiosity to ask someone a question about themselves is a gift all too rare in this busy world.
The dilemma arises when others ask us for something, particularly if it involves money. Discernment calls us to pay attention to the red flags that arise – the feeling in the pit of our stomach that something isn’t right, a sense that we are being manipulated by a five-year-old screaming for a treat in the supermarket, or a forty-five-year-old claiming poverty if we don’t step in to rescue them. Ask yourself, how often has this happened? Are you colluding with their delinquency, enabling their dependence? Helping them to permanently postpone growing up? We need to pause and reflect when giving is no longer a free choice but a compulsion to serve or rescue others at the expense of our own well-being. True generosity asks not just "What can I give?" but "What will serve the highest good for the recipient?" “Can I give with a clear conscience and an open heart?”
Generosity also calls for courage—the courage to say no when giving is not aligned with wisdom, and the courage to trust that our worth is not measured by how much we give. It is possible, and necessary, to be generous while maintaining boundaries. In truth, boundaries allow generosity to be sustainable, ensuring that our giving remains pure rather than exhausting or resentful.
Some of the sweetest moments of generosity arise spontaneously. One time, when my ninety-three-year-old mother-in-law was shopping, another shopper offered help when Mom didn’t have enough cash to pay for her purchase. She of course refused until a woman behind her said in a lilting voice, “Ma’am, please give her the blessing of being a blessing to you today. I’m sure you have blessed many people during your life.” She smiled and graciously accepted the generosity being offered.