Tea with Linda - TRUST and OPENNESS
Tea with Linda - TRUST and OPENNESS
Linda Kavelin Popov, Co-Founder of TVP, February 2023
Here we are in a new year, facing a fresh start after years when our personal and collective endurance has been greatly tested. How does the virtue of trust speak to us in this new season? We have witnessed and experienced so much suffering because of Covid, irrefutable racism, war and instability. What we can trust is that the human spirit is incredibly resilient and these travesties have ignited a new idealism we have not seen in the world before, with hope and trust that change can come. And we must trust the angels of our better nature to take action, each in our own way. Trust calls us to lean into the currents of grace with faith that life can be better, that we ourselves can do better because we know better. I recently gave an online retreat for the first time. It was about creating a new vision for one’s life by stepping back with honesty and compassion to look at the narrative of our lives. The structure was 10 P’s. What is my prayer (my heart’s desire) and my relationship to the Divine? What is my purpose and who am I as a person? What is my place both materially and spiritually? Who are my people? What possessions do I have or need to acquire or release? What boundaries do I need for protection of my health and wellbeing? What is my path this season? How do I play and engage my creativity? What is my plan (90 days of course)? And what arises in praise and gratitude? It’s a template in mapping a way forward with trust in our discernment and our guidance. By diving deep into our own truth, we will discern a path in 2023 that is serene, joyful, and purposeful.
Trust in life and in Spirit through the testing times requires that we continually seek the teachable moments in it. Trusting that light will follow darkness, that ease will follow stress gives us the serenity to accept life on its own terms while gaining strength in adversity. Trust gives us the detachment to ride the waves instead of going under. I had a profound experience one day when I rose before dawn for prayer and felt a hand stop me and guide me to my office, saying “Go to work.” I was guided that day to write to Oprah Winfrey about being on her show. I was even given the name of a producer to send it to.
Trusting in that guidance, I obeyed. About three months later, watching a parenting specialist on Oprah, who talked about managing children as if they were animals to be trained, I started fussing and fuming. “God, why did you tell me to write to Oprah about the Family Virtues Guide, when you haven’t put me on the show?! This is rubbish!” The next morning, contritely I apologized. Then I heard, “Trust my timing, not yours.” I was duly humbled. That very day I received the call from the producer and shortly afterwards was on the show, which aired to millions of viewers. This memory reminds me to trust in Divine timing as Dan and I await word from Immigration in the Cook Islands about whether we will be permitted to remain in our beloved Aitutaki to be of service or must find a different home elsewhere in the world. Trust is the unconditional acceptance of life as it shifts and changes. It is the courage to believe that in all circumstances there are gifts to be gleaned and that life is designed to educate us with great love for our highest good. Trust is the only way to heal fear. Cultivating it is worthy of awesome effort.
Openness is a companion virtue to trust. It is risking transparency about who you are and where you stand. It is daring to be forthright and honest. It is also being open to great possibilities, even miracles.
Sometimes openness requires us to think outside the box, to open our minds to fresh insights. Meditation is a necessary tool if we are to open to the Spirit. Taking time for silence and reflection each day keeps us attuned to the inner voice of wisdom. Openness to our teachable moments keeps us mindful and energized. We make amends, not excuses. We are bravely accountable for our own actions and words. We keep learning. It is what we came here for.
Openness is an essential element of intimacy. Think of someone to whom you are truly close. You dare to be open with them because they refrain from judging, and they truly see you as the beloved individual you are. We all need people with whom we can be open in this way. To receive it of course, we must offer it as well. This kind of love or friendship is one of life’s greatest treasures. I’m happy to see more and more virtues connection circles springing up around the world, offering this kind of personal closeness even online, in the context of a virtues pick. We all need story-keepers – people who keep up with our life with compassion, understanding and honesty. They only offer their wisdom when we ask for it and we hold each other’s lives with reverence. We are mirrors to one another’s souls. We all need to have a circle of people with whom we feel safe. The clear boundaries of a virtues sharing circle create that safety. As author Alice Walker said, “I don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends I can be certain of.”
Dear friends, may this be a year of joy, freedom to serve in your most meaningful way, and gratitude for the grace around you and within you.